Bhutto Escalates Her Demands

Benazir Bhutto, in a move her allies describe as striking a blow for democracy in Pakistan, has escalated her demands on President Musharraf. Before, Ms. Bhutto said, “it was sufficient that President Musharraf merely took off his uniform. Now he must undress completely.” News of the new demand comes immediately after Mrs. Bhutto’s stated refusal to serve underneath Musharraf. “I want to be on top once in a while,” said Mrs. Bhutto. She did not elaborate further, but a spokesman for her party, speaking on background, offered some additional analysis. “People have been saying for the longest time now that the emperor has no clothes. If President Musharraf begins to go around naked, then political reality and popular perception will come back into line, and we will at least respect him for his honesty”. This spokesman rejected several proposed compromise ideas, such as the one by Mr. Musharraf’s proctologist that it would be OK for the president just to strip to his shorts. “He has to go all the way this time. No political strip-tease for once“. The spokesman declined to speculate, however, on whether Musharraf’s bushy head of hair was in fact a large toupee.
In the U.S., The Bush administration appeared to be taken by surprise by Mrs. Bhutto’s new position, and an apparent gap seems to have opened up between the State Department and the President. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice has issued a statement that “under no circumstances do I ever want to see President Musharraf without his clothes on. Preferably, all of them”. Asked to clarify her remarks, Ms. Rice merely added, “Ick”. President Bush, however, seemed more open to the proposal. Speaking to reporters as he left for a long vacation at his ranch in Texas, the president stated, “I’ve already seen him that way in the White House locker room. Heck, Dick [Cheney] and I even snapped towels at his saggy butt.”