Pervez Takes It Off

In a ceremony that amazed both supporters and detractors, President Pervez Musharraf bared all as he removed his general’s uniform by performing a strip tease before a cheering mass of soldiers in Lahore. The general has said that his uniform was like a second skin, and he proved it as he took it off, piece by piece.
The ceremony, already unusual because it was open to the public, began conventionally enough as a Pakistani Army Band in kilts played “Auld Lang Syne” on bagpipes, followed by the Lahore Bell Choir’s interpretation of Baluchi folk favorites. And when Mr. Musharraf stepped up to make a few remarks, no one expected anything but the usual valediction. But Musharraf first stunned, then wowed the crowd as he winked at the band, then launched into a roaring and well-rehearsed rendition of “Let Me Entertain You”.
He started by peeling off first one long silk glove, then the other, then turned his back to the crowd of soldiers and removed his ascot as he sang over his shoulder. The audience of enlisted men whistled and stamped their feet as Mr. Musharraf removed his army jodhpurs, then produced a butane lighter and set fire to them, in an obvious dig at Hillary Clinton’s asbestos pantsuit. Musharraf showed real mastery of the technique as he whirled each garment around his head, then tossed it to the screaming front row of hand-picked officers. When he got down to a tiny black speedo and cavalry boots, the troops began to wave dollar bills, and Mr. Musharraf pranced at the front of the stage so they could tuck them in anywhere they would fit. But at the very end, they were disappointed when Mr. Musharraf would not go any farther, despite raucous shouts of “show us your baton ”.
Around the world, not everyone was as pleased with Mr. Musharraf’s performance as the troops. Muslim leaders and Mitt Romney expressed sharp disapproval, with Mr. Romney calling the display “disgraceful” and calling for Musharraf to resign his generalship. Informed that Musharraf had resigned his generalship, Romney blinked and began muttering “sanctuary cities” over and over again. But North Korea’s Kim Jong Il said that he would offer Musharraf a starring role in his new musical about a successful tractor factory.